TodayI was asked if I was loving all the Cambodia updates from the Rostrevor team.
I miss cambodia with pretty much everything I am. 98% of the time I would rather be over there than doing whatever I’m doing. It is one of the things that I’m questioning the most, and all of the updates just make me think “that should be me!”
That and a comment about my spiritual gifts made me really doubt myself today, which I already do so easily so it doesn’t need to be encouraged by others.
however, it was a pretty good small group other than that. Love being challenged and having good discussions.
I wanna go too!
It actually sounds like the perfect day!
So, I have a love-hate relationship with this. It’s awesome that you’re coming and that you fit in so well, but I also really liked it when I was pretty much the only one you were friends with. This is especially because I often don’t appreciate the way they act, and if you’re friends with them then I feel like we may be less likely to happen, or you’re gonna become like them and that frikken sucks.
It also sucks, because when I don’t see you, I’m good at not caring and at shutting you out of my brain. Seeing you twice in a weekend, (which was AWESOME btw) ,makes that pretty much impossible. It’s like BAM, all of a sudden, you’re all I can think about again. I hate this. I hate the uncertainty.
I also really wanted it to be you next to me on Saturday night, (don’t get me wrong, loved hanging out with Kristina and jono..) but there was still a part of me that wished it was you. I was also very aware the message that would’ve sent (even though that wasn’t your reason.) It was such a fun night, and I felt really pretty, but it would’ve just been that tiny bit better if you were there.
And also, seeing you made me doubt my decisions, but made me really happy. Such a catch-22. lol. One step forward, two steps back.
NO REPLIES PLEASE!